Simon Pilkington: Drowning the voices of Imposter Syndrome with Simon Pilkington

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It just made me realize how much in Buster syndromes actually probably played a part throughout my life let alone my career Gaz a deep and I get sometimes get the emotion about it to be honest all of a sudden you realize you're juggling a lot of different play you're trying to find your way as a leader you're trying to understand what that is you're trying to keep a family unit happy in a new country where you can't make friends because of in sensious disease has taken over the world I indulged I wasn't doing as much exercise I was trying to make sure that everyone was

happy and I baned from about 80 kilos to 105 kilos over a relatively short period of time I was doing all of it apart from me all the time and finally I was like when actually if I tick the one for me it's going to ensure that the others are tick much more off and it's going to put every other part of it in a better place welcome to the IG gaming leader podcast where we uncover The Human Side of some of the most inspirational leaders in our industry I'm your host Leo Judkins and as an exi gaming director turned performance coach I've worked with

over 200 leaders from companies like AME 365 flutter and many more to help them build the habits to achieve sustainable high performance in these episodes we share exactly what it takes for you to achieve the same so with that being said let's dive in hey welcome to the igaming meter podcast I'm here with Simon kinson former CEO of Cafe rocks a leading igaming affiliate that most of you will know I'm really excited to talk to you Simon because you've been through such a transformative Journey both in your career and in your well-being and I can't wait to uncover it all together with you welcome to

the podcast yeah thanks so so much for having me on I'm thrilled to be on here there's been some pretty pretty big players in the industry on this so maybe the impostor syndrome is going to come back whilst we're talking and absolutely thrilled to be un and chaty yeah fantastic mate hey the first thing I'd love to talk about is you joining Cafe rock as the CEO well you took over from a Founders team he T me through that journey and some of the things that were going on through your head as you were taking over how that went and how that went for you

personally and professionally please there a little bit of context I I joined Cafe rocks two years prior to actually taking the role on so I joined as the head of international markets I'd actually worked with fer McAn he was one of the owners back in my labrick studies which was my very first interaction in igaming almost 17 years ago now i' then G on to stat perform well now i' then perform grp and I was made redundant and it was a really pivotal part of my sort of career not so much of redundancy and big enough and I'd be enough guy to sort of understand

that that happens and you can take that and you can move on but just how it happened how it came about and how cold it was as a sort of action in a company I'd been with for an old time and knew the management very well um I found that really interesting and put a little bit of a chip on my shoulder and actually managed to use that in a bid way went to ice that year in the February of 18 caught up with McAn Again by may I joined um Cathy rocks as the head of international markets so focusing on all English language content

sites and assets starting with a very small team and sort of building that out as the company grew I think I was Employee 15 maybe and then did a nice job obviously hopefully and the watched the company grow alongside and managed to play a good part in how that culture sort of framed and then on a cold night in New York on a conference with Tim toach the incom see one of the other owners alongside Ken feder he actually offered me the promotion which if I wanted to stay in the UK was going to be up towards the VP level and sort of sit on

the sea level um but if I was happy to move the family over to Malta and take the position fly and fully commit then yeah who was going to be the CEO role which honestly from my side and from my family side was just too good an opportunity to take it was a surprise I thought I was doing a good job of course but I thought there were certainly other people in the Hat and wasn't totally aware that Tim was looking to fully step back either but Tim was very grateful he was ready to move back to B in anyway that's thirsty overriding feeling was

just pure excitement one of like wow this is exceptional that preconceived idea of what a CEO is this big rigid box that you're the leader you're going to be in charge you're going to take things on you're going to be do great and everything you know from that point went pretty smoothly and So within two months of taking over covid hit which absolutely skewed the sort of moving over plans for a little bit but it was later that year in 2020 that I managed to get across to molter but it involved my wife who is a lifetime nhhs in cystic fibrosis physio it's a real

tough job and one that she's highly passionate about leaving that taking a big sort of career break to to help support us and moving her two children who were two and four into a new country I mean the two-year-old had no idea what was going on we could have been anywhere but the four-year-old you know highly impressionable at that age and having to move to a country where she's now having to go from a little cottage style Nursery into a comprehensive school school at 4 years old face mask on all of a sudden the pressures jumped massively so it went from Pure excitement to almost

the fear of like oh God what am I doing here that came down on me quite quite hard on top of the fact that yes we're a successful business and it's going great that Tim in as the last CEO has been responsible for the majority of that up till now and i' got really big bloody boots to fill to make sure that I keep that moving and keep what has been built as a beautiful and fantastic culture company moving in the right direction as we no doubt were going to scale so yes it was fantastic but it became very clear you know imposter syndrome had

set in massively I was trying to be the CEO that I thought you had to be rather than realizing that actually a CEO or a C Level or a leader can be whatever you want it to be and should be you dictating that and putting your personality into the business and your leadership style and if that just happens not to be a match for the company then so be down the line but I never saw that and I was very blinker to the fact I was always trying to be Tim and trying to be an extension of Tim which big compliments to him which should

be sitting him enjoying but yeah I I really had to sort of make changes quite quickly into that journey and I don't think it's unfair to say Tim being one of the owners alongside the other two owners was their baby stepping back and actually giving control to someone else which was a big punt on their behalf someone internal with my leadership experience and obviously a big punt on my behalf moving over and over and taking this big risk on something that may not pan out well I think we both realized that we needed to get a handle on it a little bit and we both

worked with a career coach and an executive coach a lovely little funny German guy called Ralph he was fantastic for both of us we tried out a few coaches before getting to that point and we both settled on Ralph and actually he played a really big part in helping I think Tim give up a little bit more control while still being able to have an influence in the business and how to communicate that better into me while was actually dealing massively with BL impostor syndrome but you know it's largely a successful three years I believe in in the role we all left very Amic be

with each other which was one of my number one things going into the role as hey I want to leave the company is best the place I can leaving it but I also don't want to leave on bad terms with the guys that have given me the opportunity and love and Trust so that went very well but reflecting afterwards as you get a chance to it just made me realize how much in P the syndrome's actually probably played a part throughout my life let alone my career I think as a goes a bit deep and I get sometimes get emotional about it to be honest

but I look back and I'm you know I'm a I'm young for my year group at school and I'm an Orest baby so I was right at the bottom end of it and when you go through school you don't know what that feeling is but especially if somebody actually falls more on the introvert side of things you're a bit more shy a bit more shyer in groups and you're almost a year younger than most people you're playing rugby but you're a year younger than most people it wasn't small but you just you felt thought and actually and never realized how big a thing it's actually

played throughout my life in that regard you know I come from a very working class background but I got very lucky that I got put into private education in North desen through assisted places at the time so everyone else there s of deserve their place there and I I always felt a little bit that I that I never did um it was very similar at University but it funny enough it was leing cathery rocks and all that coming to head that really made me realize all of this thank you for sharing that sment what a journey man love it um is around that moment when

you realized or where you started thinking and that feeling started creeping in of oh my god what have I done here what was that like what what when did that start happening is that was that a specific moment did it slowly start happening and and what were some of the things that you did as a as a result of that how did you kind of live with it if that makes sense yeah I think so what I I have a number of non-negotiable one of which and the primary one is I'm family first I think it'd be spake to anyone at Cafe they'd say the

same thing about me so if ever I thought somethingone completely was right the family would always become number one and with that in mind and with that non-negotiable there you know I think seeing Emma's reaction my wife's reaction to the move and how hard it kind of hit her having to leave being quite a home bird that was probably the first moment of like oh buger have I is this the right thing is this the right decision have we done the right thing but I think outside of that it was probably a bit more of a slow burning came underneath that that actually I wasn't

really realizing I was necessarily that stressed but all of a sudden you realize you're juggling a lot of different place you're trying to be you're trying to find your way as a leader you're trying to understand what that is you're trying to keep a family unit happy in a new country where you can't make friends because of being sexus disease as Tak K of the world you're eating terribly and you're not worried about your yourself and you're not thinking about yourself because you're trying to keep so many other things happening you're worried about decisions you're making affecting all of a sudden a lot of people

when having been used to making decisions and it affecting a few people so all of these little moments all these little pieces started as in up and accumulating into a much bigger S manifestation if that makes sense and I think it totally affected my health and that Journey you men had a transformative career in that regard and it it went very quickly hockey sticked up to that CEO level my sort of Life Journey along alongside that has been very similar especially around the health side of things which coincided massively with the stress of of Cafe and when I say stress of Cafe that's with know

sort of disrespect or insult to the for putting stress on me this is internal stress I put on myself too worried about what people were thinking of how I'm doing and how I was keeping with things but you know the St thing to go was was the health and was the eating and being said m is not totally conducive to the most healthy eating all the time it come you a lot of fas and a lot of um pastries going around a lot of pastur and pizzas and I indulged I wasn't doing as much exercise I was trying to make sure that everyone was happy

and I baned from about 80 ke K to 105 kilos over a relatively short period of time but without even realizing it um the moment everything changed massively was November 27 2021 and I remember it very clearly I just elected myself in the mirror and I was absolutely crushen with what I was looking at and like not just physically but mentally and emotionally W I was making absolutely shoddy decisions from a family perspective shoddy decisions from a personal perspective probably shy decisions from a business perspective but than you of the support of a great team around me to sort keep things moving in the right

direction which is very important and yeah but physically as well I just thought this this isn't year this isn't great you're mentally in a bad place you've got to do something and I signed up to n which is the cult calorie counting app and I think you know that probably changed my life dramatically I've always been good with nutrition generally and health and fitness but just doing that and actually taking an action and starting to do 10 minutes exercise a day 15 25 six days a week until I could start seeing difference and making it a habit you know I love seeing the whole habit

rewire behind you like those little habits that turn into big big things um that changed my life again and the drop the 25 kilos everything became much more mentally clear the action we took to actually work with the coach to to help remove or manage was probably better than the Imposter syndrome those things all combined just put me in such a better place overall and I have no doubt in my mind that it made me a better person but also a better leader for the company whil it's also being a better person away from the company and for the people around me who cared about

me yeah love it what a what a pivotal woman Simon and I think we started talking not much after that right when you when you created some of those big changes and those pivotal moments they they always need to happen for us to take like the consistent action that needs to happen for us to to see the results right so before that you were saying that you hadn't even noticed kind of the weight gain and the changes that were happening what made that moment different when you were looking in the mirror and you were thinking oh my God I'm making all these shudy decisions why

did that happen you think I don't know I mean I message subconsciously SC that I was Bing but I think it's probably something that you're shoveling to the back of your mind because again like I wanted to make sure that the business was going you know I wanted to make sure people knew I was good at what I was doing and that the company was moving in the right direction and again if I'd rather deal with my child being upset than worried about me getting bigger or what whatever it may be like or the fact that my wife couldn't make friends in that first year

because there the way to get in front of people during covid times like that all was much more important to me so I think I mean subconsciously I could clearly see but it was probably happening but it was just the point when I was I don't know what it was but it was just something that said like if I don't I'm actually going to be worth for that and for every single one of those parties and I think part of your job as a as a leader you have a certain set of stakeholders right I don't just mean owners of the company but you know

they are one of the stakeholders your your employees are another stakeholder your family family is a stakeholder you are a stakeholder and all of these parties need to you know as best of your ability as a leader you need to make as many of those happy in as many of the decisions as possible and if you can go through on each decision and go right that one kick that one tick that one kick that one not but next time they'll get you know that will be clicked as well and I think you're in a really good place and I was doing all of it apart

from me all the time and finally I was like well actually if I tick the one for me it's going to ensure that the others are tick much more often and it's going to put every other part of it in a better place that is amazing suon because it's so true right when you're in that moment of you know struggling to Prior I ize yourself not seeing the solution to any of it because you're so involved in the business and because you're already so business busy and you've got a family that you're worried about it's impossible in your head to find time for it and

then suddenly when you start doing that and you start prioritizing yourself you see that suddenly there's time becomes available right so what you realize how much time you wasting as well because you know you're you get into such a great style of procrastination or you know you're tell you're telling yourself busy when actually the actual bits of being busy were were much smaller than you think or I mean a big part of it was delegation as well it made a very good decision business wise to sort of build out the sea level a bit stronger and brought in a very strong coo I mean Justin

was a very experienced guy he came in did a fantastic job and and actually helped me work Less in the business and more on the business and and be able to act more between the founders and between the sea level and act as that filter of information and also I guess a bit of a a protective filter as well well from from from any other ideas that maybe didn't need to come through and once you could delegate more out you realize how much more time you actually did have and actually that leaving 20 minutes earlier in the morning has no impact on the the family

side or the family unit but it gets you half an hour 45 minutes in the gym or in the swimming pool which is or swimming in the sea which was fantastic out there something that I could just do to get my my calorie burnout for the day up get that mental Clarity in place a little bit of reflection along the way and actually you've still got what youve got you got 20 minutes left in the day to to crack on but you've delegated enough out to not worry about that and so I think as I as I got stronger in delegation I got stronger in

sort of other skills around around being a leader I think that really just just help me create the timing to actually focus on myself yeah I love that one of the things that I see a lot with people in our Mastermind is that when you actually start taking care of your wellbeing and you start noticing some of those physical benefits right where you perhaps losing some weight or mentally you're feeling more clarity that delegation and time management and productivity actually becomes the effect of you it's not just the skills right it's it's your like how you feel makes such a difference in winning time back

what what are some of the big benefits that you've experienced in in those areas from taking charge of your health and well-being it was just that Clarity of judgment I think was the biggest thing I could sit back and reflect and actually make proper decisions rather than telling myself I'm so busy so I've got to make Rush decisions realizing that you've got time to do things and this might just have been part of the evolution of becoming you know being in the role for longer and and actually having time to realize that being a CEO isn't what someone else tells you it's what you want

to be but without doubt the benefit off the back of the the health side of things was just having that Clarity of mind to make better judgment calls and a better judgment call is delegating something out to someone better judge call is saying no when you would have just said yes just because you were too tired to think about it or too cloudy to think about it properly you can get a lot deeper into the weeds without getting tired or getting fatigued because you've got a bit more energy about you there are so many little incremental and sort of almost butterfly wing style effects that

come out of it that compound down the line to actually much better outcomes one of the things you mentioned earlier is that when you think back of having had that imposter syndrome actually for far longer than than that CEO position that you first when you first got in there how did that turn up in your life before that it kind of makes me more rational to think back about it because I probably I never really knew what it was or understood it back then and actually if you could take the acren as a career or exec coach now knowing what you know now and take

it back to when you school or whichever part of your age that it was and affect some change there and man in a different way and understand what it was and I guess this is the same with any sort of neurodiversity or or any type of thing like if you understand it you can manage it better and you can use it to your advantage so I think when I look back you know you just you don't want to regret things you don't want to dwell on things but actually I look back and think well actually I never used to be very curious or ask too

many questions because I always thought people would judge me you know I'd never be the first person been quite introverted I'd never be the first person to go up and you know swing from the Sanders of the party or you know get fully go and introduce myself to everybody who knows me and so actually I probably missed out an opportunity along the way now at the same time I've been lucky enough to have plenty of opportunity and I've made my own luck as well which is great and I've had to really sort of retrain how I think a bit to push myself more to go

and be go and introduce myself at things like that or go and actually be a bit more open and a bit more out there but just knowing that it's fine to take yourself away and just have a moment back to yourself again so I think when I look back and reflected all that I can now use that experience knowing it now to actually help frame how I go forwards as well because I don't want to continue you I don't want to get to 80 and think oh [ __ ] Simon you should have asked more questions or you could have done more there or you

could have done less less then I think knowing what I know now you can really use that to hopefully help Propel you towards it's so true right we are our own worst enemies so not asking questions because you think you're going to be found out like I had it as well I was I was promoted as the youngest director I remember not um not knowing how bonus costs were calculated you know if it came off ggr or if it's if it actually happened on staking or on winnings you know it's just an accounting issue it's a very normal question to ask if you if you're

running your p&l for the first time but I thought if I'm going to ask that they they're G to find out that they' promoted the wrong guy you know like who's this director that doesn't even know how how bonus costs work and that must have been so much worse for you as a CEO when you have all of these areas that you're managing that you're not necessarily sure about and you have nobody to ask except for the guys that you kind of just came in for whil you're in that impostor syndrome moment it's it's completely like that you're thinking like oh my god I've got

Tech I've got product I've got SEO I've got content I've got HR and actually I I really had HR for a large part of the business as well like I sort of sat sat over that side whil we we had different people moving in and out but and they're like how can I do all this I don't you know how they're going to know I'm not I haven't got the depth of knowledge at some of these guys how once you got a hold of it and once you actually could get that management and you realize how broad your knowledge base actually is true 30 the

time what 14 years of experience and you know where your weaknesses are as well and I think being able to identify where your weaknesses are so everyone at Cafe would named that Tech and sort of technical SEO that that was never my strongest seat you I'd have a base level understanding but across commercial product marketing content I could at least hold my own and I made sure that we identified great talent to come in underneath so that they were the experts they they were sort of the the specialists in each vertical and I was there with a broad knowledge to help them guide their thoughts

help them guide themselves throughout the throughout the business better as well so I think it hugely comes down to how you how you go about hiring and how you actually form that team around you or form that sort of Advisory Board around you as well and that can be from above and beyond to that that Advisory Board I think too many people are are too obsessed about actually having a that sort of person Advisory Board of people who are in higher rank positions in their more you know can offer R advice but actually some of the best conversations I've ever had with much more genor

people and it's one of the rules we tried to install at cafir and I tried to push heavily was that knowing that went through my life not trying to ask stupid questions it was like you have to ask stupid questions I want you to tell me what's wrong with the business I want you to have an absolute path to me and I've blocked off every Friday afternoon for anyone to b a session with me at any point I Tred to make myself as accessible as possible so I could understand the business in the same way I still think you know the customer support crew iner

operators it's one of the best roles to have a grounding in igaming because you really truly understand customers and you understand the problems and I just wanted to embrace that and make sure that eone knew they could come to me and tell me what the heck was wrong with the business and what the heck was I doing role because I'm sure there was stuff and plenty of people did and that was fantastic and it helped Foster a really sort of trusting experience and culture within the business yeah yeah I love it hey if you would go back to that moment now what were some of

the things that you would have told yourself to help you get out of that isolation of your own head and and overthinking and feeling like an imposter what would have been some things that would have helped you kind of getting over that I say and probably AOS of most of us but like if I could truly drum it into my head that not many people actually care what you're doing and I mean that in the most positive way no one's really judging you like the only people judging me back then realistically were Tim feder and Kai and they are more than forthright enough and outspoken

enough to tell me when things were when the when the proverbial was hitting the fans so things are probably a lot better than you think they are and I think if I could have jumped that in from a very much earlier position that would have been a great great thing for me and I think it would probably be a great thing for everybody because just by human nature we're all very worried about what other people think of us and and even more so in a in a much more socially driven environment yeah it's it's called Spotlight effects it's a natural bias that we all have

we think the spotlight is on top of us and everybody's judging us and it's because we obviously think about ourselves all the time and how we're perceived but obviously nobody else does that nobody else thinks about you continuously to unless they have some sort of weird Obsession I've tried really I mean I've tried to make actually my running to be honest but like I've tried really hard and had to really train myself not to judge others as well and not because I I was horribly judgy person but like just my natural cynicism and my natural worry about what people think about me is actually then

influencing my thoughts about you know I'm inan full admiration of the person could go in and hold a room through whichever means necessary at whatever level necessary but I'm probably also there judging them saying well you're brashy you're cocky or you know you're this you're that and I've had to really be like no they're they're just them and they they're doing what they they're playing to their skill set and they're playing to their strengths and they will be as fragile in other have issues in other areas as I do in my areas and it's you it's the same in all walks life I've really had

to push myself hard to like even when I have judged internally like to say like stopping a deck at the end of the day and you know that that person's out there doing it they've had the discipline to show up and you know whatever they're doing you don't have to judge them for it and I think for you as an introvert that's even harder right because you're going to be stuck in your head a lot more than somebody that's maybe a little bit more extroverted and talks about these things so what were some of the lessons that you've learned from that perhaps working with your

coach or just being introspective about it it's always sort of being a to compartmentalize a little bit that internal monologue like I've never understood people who don't have an internal monologue I presume I always exist I think everybody has it I'd really like to think they don't because they'd be the people I'd be most worried about um nothing back to judging um but yeah I I mine is an ongoing constantly inter Turnal one lug of sometime absolute up stuff sometimes very thoughtful St but some of the best outcomes I've had is when I've had a lot of time to really just chat to myself which

helps with the exercise because I you know don't I don't listen to music I don't listen to pods I thing I just talk to myself a work through problems I'm having whether it's small ones big ones life problems life admin work whatever it is it goes through my head and by the time I come out the other side I'm in a much much better place from it and just much more in control of it now so when the sort of demon start showing and sort of saying well you know you've not this you're failing here you haven't done this in your life admin you're pathetic

or whatever it you you can actually be like shut up like what you know what are you doing you just sit over there and you p and let's actually just work through the problem and see how badly you are feeling these are the things you've achieved this week these are the things you have done you've met with this target I worked for myself now see there's a lot more of it going on in my head bad stuff over there good stuff you let's work let's find a happy place in the middle and and work it for you together love that mate because that's one of

the biggest things right I think when like for all of when we are stuck in our head and you have that constant negative voice right that's judging and saying it's not good enough it's got to be better you're already moving on to the next thing you're not even celebrating the thing that you've achieved today which is maybe a big thing for everybody else small thing for you because you're you've already moved on to the next thing you are setting a bar so high for yourself that nobody else would and that maybe makes you a high achiev but also makes you it creates that impostor syndrome

because it's never good enough in your head right and it's this constant talk which is not filtered so how you managed to turn that around and not being too judgmental getting over you know the failures that happen through life and and and not lingering on it too much and and actually making progress through that yeah I mean okay so my life is relatively varied workwise anyway and it's very varied familywise just because this absolute chaos usual with 5-year-old and old and a dog and I should of put more of a system in place that on a weekly basis I have a sess a bit like

the Friday afternoons I used to put away for other people I sort of put it away for myself now and it might not necessarily be a fun afternoon but there'll be a bit of time where I actually sort of look down actually reflect on what's happened the previous week actually reflect on what we've got ahead of us and you know I've just become a lot more rational with age I've always prided myself and actually been a a good problem solver and a good listener for other people but I've probably not always applied it you know it's amazing how sometimes were brilliant for other people and

then don't apply those skills to to yourselves and and treat treat yourself with the same respect that you do to other people and so actually by taking that time and actually having a a set session to sort work it through and actually rationalize a little bit and if something has gone badly like take it Own It realize that it hasn't gone well and then put out a plan to actually how you going to change that or how you're going to move forward with that if you can and if you can't own it take it swallow it and try to move on and and find the

next thing that you are moving on to there's always going to be more to do no matter what you're always going to keep reaching for more I think that's again human nature but at the end of the day remind yourself you are good enough you know how to do this you've done a lot of this already in your life you're just pushing on to another level now and if it isn't scary or a little bit not understandable then that's just it wouldn't be challenging right you want this and knowing when to be a to take a break from that and sort of step back if

it's getting to on top of you that's a great skill in itself generally I think I want it and I want to move forwards I like the challenge I like the scary bits but I still need to you know I've got better at deeming with them as well yeah love it I'd love to hear from you what were some of the biggest challenges moving into your current business and you know having such a change of size and and like that must have been so difficult right where you have team you've learned finally learned to delegate you're finally offloading and now B Buck starts stops with

starts and stops with you and so what what what did that look like so unfortunate that it's not the only time it's not the first time I've had a a business interest to myself so I've sort of been for it before so I've got a little bit of muscle meory in there I mean part of the reason I left other than maybe sort of different views or what strategy on strategies you need to and how we were doing you know but part of it was the fact that at that point every decision I was now making was affecting 200 lives and that's cool that's fine

up to a point but it gets on top of you and you really don't realize how stressed you are about some of those things until you leave and the weight comes off your shoulders and everything all of a sudden you feel light again and you're like and that's not because I thought the place was negative or there's no toxicity it was negative it was a very happy place to work the best place I've ever worked and the people were fantastic but the weight K off my shoulders when I left was was Unreal the challenges I have now are very different challenges obviously there's fewer people

to talk to I I mean the majority of my businesses are either one or two man directors or one or two person directors and a couple of Freelancers my my affiliate business is very much being bootstrapped at the moment so we I'm very handson and back to very deep into the weeds at the moment which but I'm I'm loving and really thriving on sort of being back there whilst being out of balance the leadership Side by having a small group of people that work for us either on a freelance or sort of contract type basis which I can be on top of and and sort

of it almost feels like we not not to compare us to Cathy Rock but it feels like what Cathy was at the very very beginning when we know when we first joined and that that amazing chaos that you have and that amazing any day won't be the same and I love that I've realized I really enjoy that and it's not to say I'd never go back in to work for another employer again but I think if I did probably it would be more likely to be at the smaller size company again that's sort of 30 40 and knowing what I know now be able to

really put my stamp on it from a personality perspective and culture perspective which I I already believe heavily in but yeah the challeng is I mean my biggest challenge is trying to get clients to pay me on time to be honest that and Chas chase some invoices I'm sure sure you have that problem as well and it it you know it's little admin thingss that become more of the problem and now I wish I had people to dedicate to that would be that would be fantastic yeah yeah it's uh I hear you hey if you're a VP a director founder or executive in igaming and

you want to achieve sustainable high performance with sacrificing your personal life or your well-being then the igaming leader Mastermind might be your kind of thing it is a highly vetted community in which we work together with other igaming leaders in the industry to achieve that sustainable high performance because leadership in igaming can be really lonely and isolating but when you've got the right people around you it can make such a difference to your performance your productivity and your personal life so if that's something you want to know a little bit more about head over to igaming leer.com and apply to join hey S I want

to talk a little bit about all of the charity work that you've done so tell me a little bit more about how what inspired that and also what it looked like and and the outcome of that and what you're doing today so can you can you talk us through the Journey there please so I'd already lost the weight essentially back down to 80ish kilos I was in a much better place and obviously I was very aware of the SBC boxing event had ran the year prior and I saw a call by Dan beard on on LinkedIn to anybody interested to get in touch I've always

liked the sport I've always been interested to know what it' be like to do I've never thrown a punch at that point when I put my hat in the ring and I had a good chat with one of the sort of boxers from the year before luk c cousins who were sort of helping that people were going forward and for some reason they did choose me and at that point I literally you I I can be quite when I commit I commit and the day they told me I literally signed up for boxing classes and started training with personal trainers every week and for eight

months I taught myself how to box and absolutely busted myself to make sure of I was in as best shape possible going forwards which was a really nice extension to sort of the the health Journey that I'd just been on as well to sort of say like you know I've not just gone up and gone down I've then really solidified this by doing something pretty pretty cool with it and I'm assume boxing was probably it was one of the best the best event outside of sort of the deeper family stuff just to Cave that in case Emma's listening but yeah by far one of the

best events in my life like it it's the closest I'll ever be to being a professional sports person 550 people in Black Tai in a hotel in London you've got walk out music you've got the ring walks you've got celebrities like wishing you luck it's it was bunkers like I I never knew what I was getting into really and sometimes I didn't know have been punched too hard in the head and just forgot it but that night that night was special and I think Oliver's Wish Foundation was charity which is set up by robertt Rob Dowling and his wife they lost their son Oliver four

years old to sudden Unexpected death in children I can't genuinely think of much worse and the feeling that someone would go through in that situation at the time my own son was four and I'd worked with Rob's brother Ed darling and his cousin Jimmy at perform group so I have a connection there and I know that one of the other Charities they gave to outside of SDC was fibrosis my wife works assistant fibrosis so she I've had a sort of 13-year secondary connection now so it just felt like it was the right the right thing to do and a great charity to do it for

and through the through the training the group become a real group and we got to know each other and I've got some great friends come out of that and it's amazing that even the people you're fighting you're still friends with the world industry people we will love each other really and just for the six minutes we we wanted to knock each other's heads off but L taffler who I thought is one of the probably one of the best people I've ever had a chance to sort of sit down and speak to in the industry some of the stories he's got from his life and if

you're looking for transformative change in a in a person that that man is a incredible person and incredible G and he did scare me quite a lot by having I had lunch with him before the boxing and he was telling me about his some of the darker stories and I was just like oh my God I don't have anything like this i' impostor syndrome coming back in again just before the fight I did wear which you know was great my cardio was in really good shape it was Unreal I couldn't sleep for about a week afterwards the adrenaline was just flowing and I think we

raised about1 152,000 pounds through that event for the for the charity which is just a phenomenal amount money and moving on from that I realized that last year it didn't happen for various reasons and not that the Charities got a hole in the finances but I I was very aware they didn't have a flagship event to sort of raise money for the foundation I had been to a few Fighters concert in Cardiff and got very drunk and the next day I always go into the ballot at the London Marathon mostly to try and make myself convince myself I'm a good person by donating the fee

I never expect to get in and very hung over I opened the email and it sort of spat confetti at me and I was like that's not good that's not that's not a good sign isn't but I've done it before about 12 years ago and I I figured like asking for money for that i' I'd make a little bit for the charity but it wouldn't go that far and actually do I really want to run it fast to try and beat my PB again so the next charity event will be I'm running the London marathan and then running home to Bristol via the canal paths

and River paths which is going to work out 180 miles over six days so 30 miles a day for six days with a guy hasn't ran for 10 years at long distance and is 12 years older and was having to get a 5 a.m. to do most of his training in the freezing cold to make sure but he still gets back for the school run um the boxing was tough and like but in a great way this this is unreal like in terms of how much training I'm having to do like i' I've literally finished the 15 mile run this morning I did 15 miles

yesterday morning last week I did three half marathons back to back I'm B welcome to be honest but at the same time trying to balance that getting fit enough and being to cope with the pain and mentally be there for the pain without actually breaking my body we're trying to get as many people from the I gaming industry involved whether that's sponsorship or whether that's just media contacts whatever it is that' be fantastic more importantly why not come and join me on part of the run I mean I no one can come and join during London Marathon although Rob has actually got a charity place

he's going to be running it with me which is fantastic but days two three6 and we finished at a pub in Bristol so it's a nice nice nice unsurprisingly most people are doing day six so far so yeah if anybody wants to run even if you've never ran before but want to do your first mile Perfect come and do if you if you want to run 5k 10K if you want to run a 30 30 mile with me we'll be going slowly come and do it and let's try let's try and get the igaming industry mobile let's go try and get the get it moving

and let's try and raise as much money as we possibly can for an amazing course the gaming industry's just got so much about it and I love the industry I've been in it for so long now I really love it I've tried to leave found it really boring leaving I love being in the industry I think there's a lot more good in the industry than probably externally I just think there can be more of a sort of centralized version of CSR within the industry that just does some good or some events that just pulls the whole industry together and gets people doing things and yeah

if I can be a even a tiny tiny part of a catalyst to to get towards that I'd be thrilled that that would be a real nice part of my Ney and I me love it Simon okay so what can people do if they want to personally sponsor do corporate sponsorship stand on the side and cheer you on or even have a little job with you what do they need to do I I'd recommend they job rather than stand in the side and cheer it's it's going to be eight Pro by a canal path it might I can't guarantee a nice a nice area but

I think that I mean if anyone wants to run that would be amazing obviously personally sponsor if you can afford to and whatever you can afford fantastic it's not about people throwing in huge amounts it's about lots of people people putting it little bits really genuinely makes me run I I was pretty tired and not looking forward to 15 miles yesterday and literally the day before one of the school parents sponsored me 180 quid a pound of Mile which I thought was you know sure a School parent I don't know very well I thought was unbelievably generous and it just made me get out there

and do it and so whatever you can throw in I'd love to go past the 20 grand marker I I think we can do a lot more if we p all together well um and I think a lot of people are probably holding on until I actually complete it maybe which is absolutely Fair as well um I mean I've had I mean Ben Robinson's been fantastic and pleased a thousand pounds if if we can finish it and he'll be the first first one in Bristol buying me a pint he says because he's this way as well if your companies are looking for a great cause

or a great thing to get involved with I'm willing to run in whatever costume people want me to so if you've got a new slot game coming out and you want me to run as the character I as long as I'm not carrying a fridge or a wardrobe or something on my back then I'm I've got no shame in that side of things if people want me to get involved and you know do some Consulting for free alongside it I'll happily to make this work you know what whatever it is just get in touch and see what you can do if you've got contacts to

news or media Outlets even inside or outside of I gaming let us know look out for me or BR e or rub rub ding himself from partis and yeah all the details are in there perfect well make sure that it's in the show notes as well if you're watching it'll be in the YouTube description if you're listening to this on Apple or wherever Spotify you'll find it in the description as well Simon fantastic thank you very much for sharing your story it's been been really wonderful talking to you thank you I'm glad I didn't cry so good thank you thank you for joining me on

the igaming leader podcast if you enjoyed today's episode head over to igaming leer.com for more conversations and insights don't forget to subscribe to this podcast I'm your host Leo Judkins I hope to see you next week

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